Darnell Lamont Walker: Talking About Death to Live More Fully
We prepare for everything in life, except the end. Darnell Lamont Walker reminds us that talking about death helps us live more fully.
When we sat down with Darnell for the 13 Days of Strange series, we expected a heavy conversation. What we found instead was someone who brings light to one of life’s darkest topics. “The scarier something is, especially something like death, the more important it is to talk about it,” he told us. “If we keep talking about it in a scary way, then that’s the only way people are going to think about it.”
Darnell is a death doula, writer, and educator who helps people and families navigate dying with intention and care. “My job is to make the end as peaceful as it possibly can be,” he said. “Sometimes that means being with someone as they transition. Sometimes it means helping their family plan. And sometimes,” he added with a smile, “it means fighting the doctors or the family.”
Writing is a big part of what makes Darnell’s work unique. “No one wants to be forgotten,” he said. “So I come in and ask, what story do you want to leave behind?” As a professional writer, he helps clients craft obituaries, letters, and memories that become part of their legacy. “When I read someone’s story back to them before they die, you can see how much it means to know that something of them will stay.”
His connection to this work began long before he knew what a death doula was. Growing up in Charlottesville, Virginia, Darnell’s grandmother often brought him along to funerals and conversations about loss. “I was about nine when she started pulling me into those talks,” he said. “No one else in the family wanted to talk about death, so it was just us.” By thirteen, he was volunteering at a hospice, sitting with patients, playing games, and unknowingly offering them the comfort of presence.
Decades later, a friend told him, “It sounds like you’re a death doula.” Darnell looked it up and thought, “Yes, I am. This is what I’ve been doing most of my life.”
His perspective on death is rooted in honesty and compassion. “Sometimes people want you to fall apart with them,” he said. “That creates a safe container where they feel free to do the same. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.” He tells clients and families that planning for death is an act of love, one that allows everyone to grieve together instead of getting lost in logistics. “If you love your people, talk about death,” he said. “Because when you die, they don’t have to go through it alone.”
For Darnell, helping people face death is another way of helping them embrace life. “Death shapes life,” he told us, “but it doesn’t have to diminish it.”
Hear our full conversation with Darnell Lamont Walker on the Making Waves Project Podcast, available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Follow Darnell on Instagram @hello.darnell and learn more about his work on his website.
This story was created by Making Waves Project as part of 13 Days of Strange, our series spotlighting the beautifully unusual people and projects shaping culture in ways big and small. By sharing these stories, we aim to honor the creativity, resilience, and vision behind the work and amplify voices that thrive in the strange, the bold, and the unforgettable.
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Photography by Robiee Ziegler
Produced by Katie Caro
