Trevor James : The Healing Language of Cuddling
Have you ever felt disconnected from your body, like you’re just going through the motions?
Maybe you struggle to express your emotions or feel a deep longing for intimacy.
You’re not alone. So many men carry the weight of unspoken things, making it difficult to connect with themselves and the people they care about.Trevor James understands this quiet distance intimately.
His work lives in a space many people have never considered, one shaped by touch, intimacy, and presence.
“What I offer is a space for people to come to where they can just let go of holding everything that they are holding and just let go… It’s a space where people can be themselves and not have to perform.”
In a world that often rewards performance over presence, that offering becomes something rare. Something tender. Something deeply needed.
People come to Trevor for many reasons.Grief. Breakups. Loneliness. Depression. Sometimes they simply want to be held while they cry. Sometimes they feel weighted by the world and need, even briefly, to be taken care of. He works primarily with men from all walks of life, including high-powered executives and those navigating heartbreak or isolation. Many have been taught to remain stoic, to keep everything together, and never ask for help. “Men are not taught that it’s okay to ask for help and men are not taught that it’s okay to ask to be touched even though touch is essential to every human being.”
Inside Trevor’s work is a quiet permission to soften. To feel. To be seen without judgment.
Long before a client walks through the door, care is already in motion. Trevor prepares intentionally, sending questionnaires and creating a thoughtful container shaped around each person’s needs. When someone arrives, the first question is simple: Would you like a hug?
Consent and boundaries are spoken clearly. Clients are reminded they can say no, change their minds, ask to go softer or slower, or stop completely. The space belongs to them. The session begins gently with eye contact and breathwork to regulate the nervous system and build trust between strangers. Only then does the structured cuddle session unfold. “This is not just casual cuddling… this isn’t sex either… this is a structured session.” It is a platonic service, rooted not in romance, but in care.
Every session ends slowly, with reflection and a soft landing so no one feels abruptly returned to the outside world. “What I want every single one of them to take away… is that they felt seen… and they felt held.” For Trevor, love is not spectacle. It is presence. It is caring practiced in real time. “Love has everything to do with the work I do… caring is love in practice.”
Before this chapter, Trevor spent decades producing large-scale live events for television. Losing that career set him on an unexpected path toward touch therapy, certification, and ultimately work that felt more meaningful than anything before. Today, he measures impact differently. “I make waves quietly and consistently by making sure that everybody who comes through my service leaves feeling changed in one way or another.”
When someone feels truly touched, he believes they gain permission to offer that same care outward, allowing love to ripple from one life to another. Spreading love. Spreading energy. One person at a time.
Trevor expands on these experiences in his book On Being Seen, where he shares stories of the men who have passed through his space and the vulnerability they discovered there. You can learn more about Trevor’s work, sessions, and offerings by visiting his website.
Because sometimes the most powerful form of love is simply being held and finally feeling seen.
This story was created by Making Waves Project as part of Ways We Love, our February series exploring the many forms love takes in our lives. From romantic and platonic relationships to self-love, care, intimacy, and connection, these stories highlight how love is practiced, learned, and expressed in deeply personal ways.
Through these conversations, we hope to expand the definition of love beyond expectation and highlight the ways it shows up in everyday moments, relationships, and choices. Love is not one thing, and it looks different for everyone. These stories invite us to slow down, listen closely, and reflect on how we give and receive it.
If you or someone you know has a story about love that deserves to be shared, we would love to hear from you. And if you are a brand interested in partnering with us to help tell more stories like this, reach out at hello@makingwavesproject.com.
Follow along with Ways We Love on our Instagram and YouTube, and explore more stories at makingwavesproject.com/stories.
Photography by Robiee Ziegler
Produced by Katie Caro
Post Production by Kelly Budish
